I've noticed that in the past 2 weeks that I have been rather strict on my diet I've become pretty bitchy about people that say "why don't we eat here at [meaty place]." Is this seriously what happens? I am not being all pescatarian for any ethical reason, I've simply both lost interest in meaty meat and am bored of it (and have felt more energetic and lively without it).
Weird.

I've also noticed that for the past six months I don't understand what I was thinking. I feel like my separation from the person that I was all the way back in 2005 has driven me to do things very differently from what I could ever have conceived myself doing. I am not sure how I feel about it. I mean I've been happy in the past while, but I've also been sad. It has been interesting and I've both learned and experienced a lot, but I don't know if it was all called for. As much as I never regret anything, I feel a lot of guilt for my actions simply because I don't know why or how I got myself here. Now that I've realized it, I don't like it one bit.

As the opening point suggests I've really become strict when it comes to my diet. Alcohol and caffeine are gone again - they just seem to mess up my blood sugar (which has been a very concerning problem as of late). Red meat I've not liked for a long time, but poultry is also something that's now gone. I'm still eating fish, and eating a ton of veggies :D num!

Personally, I'm finding my interactions with others a huge struggling point for me. It has always been an issue, but I flip between having social anxiety and craving being social. Since I've been so stressed though, I'm back to secluding myself until I can find a way to just simply relax. Thankfully I still have a couple of wonderful people that can take care of me and are more than good to me. As much as I want something more though, I've just been flipping out far too much for it to be healthy for anyone to be serious with me.

The seclusion is also good for the sake that I've come to realize my way that I dealt with all the stress and crazies as a teenager was to use art and creativity as my outlet. I'm back to doing arty things thankfully, and hopefully soon the fruits of that will rise back to the surface so that everyone can see :3

This has been one of the most difficult things that I've ever come to stumble on. I am very saddened to not have realized it many months ago, and I fear that I will be paying dearly for it for a long long time to come. If things work out though, you can be certain that I will be the happiest girl alive.

tl;dr : yay art, boo crazies, yay realizing it, boo dealing with it.


[/home/djorgensen] -- [root@NEW RS] -- [16:31:30]
|> yay=`date +%s`; echo $yay;
1234567890



*yay*
This has been the highlight of my week up to this point. I did a lil celebration in my office. Though I didn't really move. I guess I was just smiling.

( just me bein bored here, doing surverys... )

Yay year end summary time you says?!

( The past twelve months in summary )

So it started out as a great year and went far downhill. Its put me into places that I have not really been in in many years. I apologize to anyone that I bailed on or hurt or simply just didn't follow through or stopped talking with. I sincerely hope that I am able to turn things back around for next year. I have many plans for traveling and living and education and life/love that I really desire to have fulfilled!

I hope everyone else has a safe and cheery new years!

Denby :3

Many of you may already know what I am about to say, though many of you do not.

Anyhow to set the record straight for everyone who knows me, especially those who have known me for many many years, I am transgendered (or more specifically a female transsexual).

As a result I am certain most of you have noticed my tendencies to being female, be it through thought or action - as well as how I groom myself physically. Currently I am under the care of my GP, a psychologist, and an endocrinologist (and a pharmacist too) who have all worked towards helping me with my condition.

In any case, I am currently going through hormone treatment therapy to make me physically on the outside what I am on the inside. Thus I am becoming female through and through. It will become more and more obvious over time, but as its starting to become apparent it is certainly necessary for me to announce this.

All that I am really looking for is everyone's acceptance, if not support as I go through this period in my life. From now on it would be most proper to assume that I am female as I no longer feel that it is appropriate for me to be seen as male. Thus matters such as pronouns may need to be corrected. It will take time, but time is something that I have a lot of regarding this matter and I will not be offended by anyone who forgets from time to time.

That said I am very open to discussing the matter and will answer any relevant questions or concerns that anyone has for me.

There was a time in my youth where every night before sleeping I would stare at the night sky for hours and hours instead of sleeping. I read everything that I got my hands on from fiction to textbooks, and I helped myself and others in any way that I could.

Somewhere along the way I lost this.
I sit behind a computer for up to 20+ hours a day, staring at pixels for hours and hours, and I ingest copious amounts of information and am social with hundreds of people - yet at the end of the day I feel like I've gained nothing.

I seem to be working on it lately. I guess its because I've really come to learn that I've missed it. Its weird. I have so much, but I sacrifice it to get what I don't have - and then I am left with the same. My arms only hold so much.

Anyway, my load is lightened again. Well... somewhat. Its also burdened, but if not for that I would simply just float away into the sky and eventually be as dim as the stars outside my window right now.

But damn, these pixels are sure shining bright.

Waffles!
Belgium or potato waffles
Look in front of you NOW
Do you have a waffle?
Wouldn't you be happier if you did?
I'm talkin Waffles
Belgium or potato
All kinds taste great, oh yes they do
Cos they are waffles
Invented by Ghandi
Why not keep several handy
For moments when you need
WAFFLES
wiffawaffawoffawaff wiffles
waffawaffawaffawo waffles
Waffles
Waffles
Waffles
I'm talkin...

So at 7:14 pm while heading east on whyte ave a young driver who just got her license decided to blow a stop sign in such a fashion that I am once again with out car. T_T

Katie and I are fine. A bit sore, but otherwise ok.
My car is probably pooched.
I am only now getting to eat dinner.

This has really been by far the most difficult week in a few years.

1. Take a picture of yourself right now.
2. Don't change your clothes, don't fix your hair...just take a picture.
3. Post that picture with NO editing. (Except maybe to get the image size down to something reasonable.)
4. Post these instructions with your picture.



Oh, admittedly I did color correction on this. Meh.
*om nom nom*

I could survive for 1 minute, 28 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

*om nom nom*